![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/01\/trespassers.jpg\" "\\"trespassers\\"")
<\/a>trespassers will be baptized<\/p><\/div>\n
– Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
\nChurch. Please use large double door at the side entrance.<\/p>\n
– The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.<\/p>\n
– The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The
\nsermon tonight “Searching for Jesus.”<\/p>\n
– Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
\nthe recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.<\/p>\n
– Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of
\nthose things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your
\nhusbands.<\/p>\n
– The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due<\/p>\n
to a conflict.<\/p>\n
– Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile
\nat someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t
\ncare much about you.<\/p>\n
– Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.<\/p>\n
– Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving<\/p>\n
obvious pleasure to the congregation.<\/p>\n
– For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a
\nnursery downstairs.<\/p>\n
– Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
\nthe help they can get.<\/p>\n
– Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more<\/p>\n
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes
\nof Pastor Jack’s sermons.<\/p>\n
– The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
\nwill sing “Break Forth Into Joy.”<\/p>\n
– Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
\nchurch. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.<\/p>\n
– A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
\nMusic will follow.<\/p>\n
– At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is
\nHell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.<\/p>\n
– Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
\nseveral new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.<\/p>\n
– Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
\nrecycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.<\/p>\n
– Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
\nperson you want remembered.<\/p>\n
– The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
\nentertainment and gracious hostility.<\/p>\n
– Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.<\/p>\n
– The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
\nThey may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.<\/p>\n
– This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
\nacross from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.<\/p>\n
– Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
\nladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is
\ndone.<\/p>\n
– The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
\nwould lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
\nSunday.<\/p>\n
– Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please<\/p>\n
use the back door.<\/p>\n
– The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet
\nin the
\nchurch basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to
\nattend this tragedy.<\/p>\n
– The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign
\nslogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: – Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. – The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. – The sermon this morning: [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[29],"class_list":["post-76","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uber-jokes","tag-jokes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3DacI-1e","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=76"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":627,"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76\/revisions\/627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=76"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=76"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/koldfusion.ca\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=76"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}