Time once again to review The Stella Awards are to memorialize 81-year-old

Stella Liebeck, who spilled hot coffee on her own lap and successfully sued
McDonalds (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most
frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.
This years winners:

5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000.
by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who
was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were

understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little
toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.

5th Place (tie): 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000. and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the
car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.

5th Place (tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a
house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to

get the gara! ge door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting
the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days.
He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.
He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue
mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, AR was awarded $14,500. and

medical expens! es after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been
just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the
fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. C!

arson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of
a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000. and dental expenses.

1st Place: This year’s runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor

home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto
the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not
surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner’s manual that
she couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarde! d her $1,750,000. plus a new
motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this
suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.